He aha kā mākou e hāʻawi ai, ka mea e hāʻawi ai, a me pehea e hana ai me nāʻano mea laulā
Makemakeʻoe no ka lā male ma NYC ? ʻO ka mareʻana he mau manawa hoʻohaʻahaʻa, akā i kekahi manawa ua hoʻolahalaha lākou i nā hiʻohiʻona pili i kahi mau malihini. ʻEhia ka nui o kāu e hoʻolilo ai i kāu makana ma ka NYC? Hiki iāʻoe ke lawe mai i kahi malihini? Peheaʻoe e'ōlelo ai no ka liloʻana i wahine wahine wahine? Hiki iāʻoe keʻaʻahu i kēlā kapa keʻokeʻo wela i ka maleʻana o kāu hoaaloha?
Ua noi aku mākou iā Manhattan -based,ʻo iaʻo Elise MacAdam, ka mea kākau moʻolelo o ka mea hou: Wedding Label for Rule Breakers, Traditionalists, a me nā mea a pau ma waena , e pane i kekahi mau nīnau maʻamau e hiki mai ana no nā malihini male ma New York City.
Nani Dilemma Malia # 1: He aha kaʻu e hana ai e pili ana i ka manawa mare? E kūʻai anei au mai ke ke kula? E hāʻawi kālā? ʻehia? Hiki iaʻu ke lawe mai ia i ka maleʻana.
Nā'ōlelo kōkua a Elise: ʻAʻohe kānāwai e pili ana i ka male mare a me ka paʻaʻana o kēlā kulekele i nā pae a pau,ʻo ia hoʻi ka hihia ma New York kahi i hele mai ai nā kānaka mai nā kumu likeʻole he nui me nāʻano kuʻuna. ʻO kekahi wale nō ka hāʻawi kālā, nā mea'ē aʻe nā makana, a me nā mea'ē aʻe. Ua nui nā kānāwai i New York o ka 1900, i ka wā i manaʻo ai nā kāne mare i nā mea eʻaʻa mai i ka hāʻawiʻana i nā makana, i nā mea e like me nā lole a me nā hale hana i manaʻoʻia he nui. o ka pilina.
ʻO ka laina lalo,ʻaʻole pono nā "malihini e" uku no kā lākou mau papa "aʻaʻohe mea i kauʻia no nā makana. Pono lākou e hāʻawi i nā mea e hiki ai iā lākou ke hāʻawi a me kā lākou manaʻo e hāʻawi. Inā hōʻole lākou i ka hāʻawiʻana i kekahi mea, pono lākou e hoʻouna aku i ka wahine male ma kahi kāleka e hōʻoluʻolu ana iā lākou a haʻi aku i ka hauʻoli o lākou i komo pūʻia i kaʻahaʻaina.
ʻO ka mea maʻamau,ʻaʻole ka manaʻo maikaʻi loa e lawe mai i nā makana i ka maleʻana . E noʻonoʻo ana nā mea hou i keʻano o ka loaʻaʻana o nā mea āpau i ka home a hiki i ka hopena o ka hoʻokipaʻana a me ka loaʻaʻole o nā kūlana o kou manawa i ka nalowale a iʻole ka uhaʻana.
Nani Dilemma Malia Ma # 2: Ua noi mai kahiʻelemakule aʻaʻole pili loa iaʻu e noho ma kāna pāʻina mare. He kauā wahine wahine wau iʻeono manawa i nā makahikiʻekolu i hala ae nei aʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke loaʻa i kēia manawa. Aia kahi ala e hoʻopakele ai?
Nā Kūkākūkā a Elise: ʻO nā mea i manaʻoʻia e nā wāhine wahine e hoʻomau i ka nui aʻoi aku ka maikaʻi.
He mau ala e hele ai, akā me ka maikaʻi loa a me ka maikaʻi maikaʻi.
ʻO ka wahine male wahine kāu hoaaloha a ponoʻoe eʻike i keʻano o kou ola. Ma mua o kou hōʻoleʻana i ka hana, e kamaʻilio me ka wahine mare me ka hoʻomaopopoʻana i kāu mau palena. Inā heʻuʻuku wale nō kona manaolana, hikiʻole iāʻoe ke hāʻawi i ka hanohano (ʻaʻole pahaʻoe e kūʻai i kahiʻaʻahu). Inā ponoʻoe he wahine wahine wahine wale nō a iʻole paha o kekahi mau mea wale nō, eʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka hoʻohuliʻana i ka noi, akā eʻoi aku ka maʻalahi iāʻoe ke kamaʻilio aku i kou hoaaloha e pili ana i kou mau palena kālā a hiki i kekahiʻano ke kuʻikahi. ʻOiaʻiʻo,ʻaʻohe mea e pono e lilo i hōʻai'ē e lilo i wahine wahine wahine.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, inā nui loa kaʻahaʻaina mare, pono nōʻoe e haʻi aku i kāu hoaalohaʻaʻoleʻoe e kū i kahi hoʻolālā kālā'ē aʻe aʻaʻole makemake e hoʻokuʻu i kekahi. E'ōleloʻoe ua hauʻoliʻoe ua noiʻiaʻoe e noho ma ka male male akā ua manaʻoʻoe eʻoluʻolu anaʻoe ināʻoe e noho nei he malihini.
Nani Dilemma Malia Ma # 3: Ua konoʻia au i ka maleʻana o kaʻu hoa hana. ʻO koʻu inoa wale nō ke kono. ʻAʻole au i manaʻo uaʻikeʻo ia he ola kaʻu e noho nei. Make anei au i RSVP no mākou aʻelua paha a iʻole wau e hele i kahi kaʻawale?
Nā'ōlelo aʻo a Elise: He kumu kēia e pono aiʻoe e kamaʻilio i kāu hoa.
ʻAʻoleʻoe e hoʻohui i kekahi mea i konoʻoleʻia i kāu kāleka kālele aʻaʻole pono paha e hōʻike wale aku me kāu kauā. ʻOiaiʻoʻoe ma ka pilina pili lōʻihi, e ponoʻoe e hoʻolako iāʻoe a me kāu hoa i ka mareʻana ma keʻano he kāne. ʻAʻohe hewa i ka noiʻoluʻolu inā hikiʻoe a me kāu keikāne i ka huiʻana. Inā'ōleloʻiaʻoe he ponoʻoe e hele ma kahi lōkahi, hiki iāʻoe ke koho e hele i kāu iho a iʻole e noho i ka maleʻana.
Nani Dilemma Malia # 4: He kapa keʻokeʻo kaʻu e aloha nei a ke huhū nei au i laila. ʻAʻole ia e like me kaʻaʻahu mare. Hiki iaʻu ke hoʻokau iā ia i ka maleʻana o kuʻu hoaaloha?
Nā'ōlelo aʻo a Elise: No ke aha e hoʻonāukiuki ai i ka ipu? Ua manaʻoʻia heʻanoʻilihune eʻaʻahu keʻokeʻo i ka mareʻana keʻoleʻoe e mare me ka heleʻana i kēlā kapaʻaʻahu hiki ke loaʻa iāʻoe kahi palupalu palupalu.
ʻOiaʻiʻo, aia nā manaʻo kū'ē i kēia kulekele.
I kekahi manawa, hoʻokalakupua nā wahine i kā lākou mau wahine ma ke keʻokeʻo a aia he mauʻahaʻaina mare kahi i kauohaʻia ai nā malihini e komo i keʻokeʻo a iʻole keʻokeʻo (Truman Capote i kaulana i kēiaʻano pāʻina kaulana me kona kaulana 1966 Black a White Ball e hoʻonani ana iā Katherine Graham ma ka Plaza Hotel).
Akā, ke maopopoʻoleʻoeʻaʻoleʻoe e nānā e like me kāu eʻimi nei eʻaihue i ke kikowaena o ka wahine mare, eʻimi i kahi mea'ē aʻe. E noʻonoʻo i kēia he manawa kūpono e hele ai i ke kūʻai.
Nani Dilemma Hoaʻo # 5: Ua konoʻia au i kahi hui komo. E lawe mai i kahi makana?
Nā'ōlelo aʻo a Elise: ʻAʻohe mana kānāwai no nā hui hui. He kūpaʻa loa ia iāʻoe. Inā makemakeʻoe e lawe i kekahi mea,ʻaʻoleʻoe e hele i lalo. ʻO nā makana kūikawā, nā makana likeʻole me ka waina, ke kokoleka, a me nā meaʻono'ē aʻe paha, he mau koho nui loa ia, aʻaʻole hoʻi e manaʻo nui e hoʻokauʻia me nā hōʻailona, no laila e hiki iāʻoe ke hāʻawi iā lākou me kaʻole e noʻonoʻo pono i keʻano.